About Homesicknes And How To Deal With It!

Hello fellow adventurers!

today I want to talk about a pretty serious topic, but it is near and dear to me that I talk about it here, because I have a couple of moments here where I struggle with it.
As you've already read in the title, I'm talking about homesickness!
It is the strong or intense longing for your home, you feel tired, useless and think you have no reason to get up in the morning. In severe cases you can loose your appetite and even get sick, because your immune system is very much affected by your mental state of mind! You don't want to be where you are, just want to go home or stay in your room all the time (resentment of current environment).
I have to say, with all the new friends I've made here and my sweet sweet hostfam, I am really happy to be here and I don't REALLY want to go home. BUT, I also have those times at night, where I have nothing to do and my thoughts always circle back to my parents, my brothers, my friends at home, my cat.... and that's it for me, I burst out in tears. I am really lucky and thankful that my hm is sooo understanding about  this but she told me something that I didn't necessarily want to hear at the time, but she was right: I had to make up my mind sooner than later. Was I gonna stay the whole year or maybe admit that doing this at 18 was too soon... So I made a list. Arguments for staying and arguments for going. Later more to that..

Something that I get a lot when I talk about homesickness with someone is: IT IS GOING TO PASS!
Right now, I hope it's true, but I also found out a lot of ways how to deal with it for now.

Correct:

1. STAY BUSY! - this is the best tip that I have. Put a lot of effort in your work, find hobbies and make plans with friends. If you don't have time to think about home, you're not gonna get too sad. Try to be happy!
2. FIND SOMETHING POSITIVE! - If you are like me and get sad at night sometimes, think about how you got here! Remember something of that day that made you happy or made you smile. Everyday you'll have at least a small thing that made you think: Yes, I belong here; I'm happy to be here!
3. TRY SOMETHING NEW! - At home, you had your routines, your comfort-zone. This is your opportunity to use your freetime wisely. Look/Ask around and find an activity that interests you or that you've never done before! You don't always have to do it WITH someone, go on your own! But do not stay in your room!
4. COMMUNICATE! - If you don't tell anyone about how you feel, you're not gonna get better. If you keep everything inside, you will blow up eventually! There is ALWAYS someone who is able and willing to speak with you and chances are, they know the feeling and can give you more ways to deal with it so don't be shy!
5. REMIND YOURSELF - Write a letter to yourself when you're feeling motivated. List everything that is a reminder of why you're here and why you wanted to be there. You are the best person to make you feel better, because if you're true to yourself, you can trust yourself and yourself only! So everytime you feel sad, read that letter!
6. SMILE! - As a fact, smiling releases a chemical in your brain that makes you feel happier! So try to force yourself and smile!
7. LET IT OUT! -  If you just can't help it, cry! The best thing for me when I just feel like crying, I get in the shower and let it all out! Sometimes that is just the right thing for you and you will know when it is! Cold showers are the best => no headaches and no one hears you (extra privacy)
8. WRITE IT DOWN! - Keep a diary, write everything down that you did and how you feel. Getting it on paper gives you an overview and forces you to organize your thoughts! Make it creative! Use different styles, draw something, add color and pictures or movie tickets etc. This is the time for you to be who you are but on paper! 
9. EXCERCISE! - I know it may be hard to motivate yourself but if you can, sign up at a gym and go at the same time(s) every week. Excercising boosts your energy and you feel renewed and fresh after. It is also a great way to pass your down-time. If you can, go for a run and get some fresh air. Who knows, it may blow out all the sadness out of your head.
10. EAT! - If you eat regulary, it gives your day structure and you begin to get into a routine. If you have a routine, you have something you can count on and most importantly hold on to if you're feeling a bit insecure.
11. CALM DOWN! - Sometimes the homesickness can cause you to get overwhelmed by the simplest tasks. If you feel like your responsibilities are becoming a bit much for you, take a moment and really think about each problem individually. Looking at things one by one gives you a better overview and you can always find a solution to everything!
12. REST! - Getting enough rest and having a set bedtime, again, gives you a routine, but if you're better rested, you have more energy, duh! Your tasks don't overwhelm you so soon and you will want to go out and explore!

INCORRECT:

1. CALL HOME! - Try to explain to your loved ones, that it is not healthy for you to call home every day. Try to only Skype 1-2 times a week. Seeing and hearing from the people you miss too often will only remind you more of what you can't have: HOME. Especially as an Au Pair, when you leave for a whole year, you need to eventually establish a social life and live that life, both feet in! Skyping all the time keeps you out of reality!
2. LET IT CONSUME YOU! - This is kind of what happens when you don't do anything of the tips above. If you have too much time to think about home, you don't talk about your feelings, you don't go out, you don't eat or sleep... etc., you are only gonna get worse!
3. GIVE UP! - All I can say is that you should really REALLY try. Give it a shot and try to make it work because if you just give into your longing of home, you might regret it. If you still go home, you can at least say you've really tried. And that is still a lot than a lot of people can say about themselves.

Now quickly back to that "list" I mentioned. So I think I have generally made up my mind about what I'm going to do and I think I've found the right compromise for me. I will still talk about it with my LCC (the person from the agency that is my go-to helper for stuff like this) on Friday.

But this is the Pros and Cons list that I made. Maybe some of these statements also apply to you!

Arguments for staying 1 year:

• EXPERIENCE! - This is something I've wanted to do for like 5 years and it has only been 2 1/2 weeks and I've already seen and done so many things! I can't even imagine what is still waiting and what I'd miss if I went home early.
• FRIENDS! - I have already made a few great friends and I'm constantly meeting new people. This was something that I was really excited about: Meet people from all over the world that are as open-minded as you! All of the Au Pairs here are in the same boat and so far they've all been very supportive!
• NO REGRET! - This is the "Don't give up" part again! Give it a shot and if you still go home, you can't say you regret it too much!
• WHAT THEN?! - In my case, I have to wait at least until the summer semester to start college. Going home early means I'd have to find a NEW and definitely worse job until college starts.. That's what I call a big load of bs..
• PROVE THEM WRONG! - From some people, even before I left, I heard that I couldn't do this, because the homesickness would be too much for me. Now imagine someone says you can't do something. You want to do it/ make it even more now, right? So show them what you're made of!
• DON'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT! - This is pretty self-explanatory because life is not about being easy-going. Staying away from home for a year is a huge commitment and if you make it you can practically do anything! Try to force yourself down the harder but possibly more rewarding path.
• DEAL WITH IT NOW! - This is something my dad said to me. If I could manage to work through the homesickness, and basically being so far away from home, I would never have any problems with it ever again, because the distance will probably never be as big as now!

Arguments for going home early:

• TOO YOUNG - This is something that might be hard to admit, but maybe I or you are a bit too young to go away for so long. It is totally ok to say you will come back in a few years and try again. You got the job once, chances are, you can do it again.
• GET WHAT YOU WANT! - This is what I mean with taking the easy way out! You go home, you get home. This means you're satisfied for the near future. (But what about after more time?)

SO, my plan for now is to really try and make it work. See if I feel better in a few days/weeks and then decide again. But the compromise that I could live with is: Take those 2 weeks that I have off and distribute them throughout the year. So I would say: Go home for a week every 4 months. 4 months is a bit more manageable and I still have the 13th month for traveling. This way, I have something in the nearer future to look forward to. Although it is pretty expensive to fly back and forth, right now it seems worth it and also if I spend my money wisely, I can afford it!

Ok I think for the next post we'll lighten up the mood a bit! I hope this was/is/will be helpful for you or anyone you know. I'll let you know if this "It'll get better" thing is really true, or if it really did get better for me :)

Stay awesome,

Ellie